The Sound of 3am

The title of this post is much more intriguing than its content. I'm an insomniac so being awake at 3am is an unfortunate but normal occurrence. At 3am this morning I heard an intense knocking on a neighbor's door. Upon answering their door, they were greeted with the news that their car was being repossessed. They had two choices: hand over the keys or have their car towed. It isn't the most wonderful time of year for all. Times are tough for a lot of people so before you complain about sitting in traffic, be thankful you have a car to sit in! Instead of complaining, count your blessings. There's always something to be thankful for.

New Insomnia Low

It's 11:43am. I have not slept yet. I've shied away from taking sleep aids for fear of becoming addicted. It may be time to give in...to a non-addictive option of course. This is a ridiculous cycle. Wow...this is what my life has become thanks to stress. Actually, stress is a grave understatement. I suppose I should attempt to force myself to sleep now. *shakes fist at invisible insomnia supplier* I hope whoever's reading this has a way better start to their day than moi!

until next time...

Well, I thought wrong!

The Monday after Easter, I went out to celebrate my friend's birthday. Her closest girlfriends to took pics by a nearby lake, went to dinner, and joined many other friends for a night of bowling. That was my first time bowling in an actual bowling alley-crazy I know. I'm not too shabby. It was a very fun night. I was glad I wore a cute outfit that day and couldn't wait to see how the pics turned out.

Turns out, I never needed to see the pics. Only one pic has been posted but if that's any indication of what's to come, I don't need to see the rest. I look so fat! I was such a black sheep in the pic. I'm use to being the token black person in my group of friends but this time I was the token fat black girl in a group of beautiful white girls. I almost want to apologize to my friend for ruining her bday pic!

Here I am busting my butt doing Zumba, strength training, eating well, and staying hydrated and for what?!? I know results don't happen overnight but I'm tired of this. I want to feel AND look cute, not feel cute only to realize I looked a fat, hot mess. Well, I had a good cry about it. Nothing left to do but keep chugging along. Hopefully there will be a noticeable difference sooner rather than later.

Inspiration courtesy of Criminal Minds

When you think of inspiration, I highly doubt the crime drama Criminal Minds comes to mind. Surprisingly enough, it was just the inspiration and push I needed to better myself. Every episode features a quote relevat to it's plot. The quote from S6E16 really struck me: 

Tomorrow, you promise yourself, will be different, yet, tomorrow is too often a repetition of today. ~James T. Mccay

Hearing Reed say this quote was a necessary slap in my face! Tomorrow isn't promised to us. Mccay's quote made me realize that I have spent too much time promising myself that my tomorrow will be different, only to stay in a perpetual state of yesterday. I don't know about you but I don't want to continue wasting whatever time I have being unhappy. I don't want to reflect upon my life and see nothing but a slew of unfulfilled promises. 

So let's talk specifics; what has this quote inspired me to be diligent about?

-Losing weight

-Believing that I'm beautiful RIGHT NOW not when I lose the weight etc.

-Contacting those that can help me remove the blockade that's plagued my life for years and made my future seem bleak

-Being a better example of Christ's love to everyone I come in contact with

-The little things like spring cleaning

The important thing for me is to avoid getting overwhelmed. Multitasking is great until you get to the point where some things are thriving at the expense of others. I've begun working on all of these things and I'm more hopeful and excited about my future than I have been in years. Thank you Criminal Minds!

Poetic Bite #1

Often times I have poetic thoughts... baby poems if you will. I used to think they weren't worth sharing because I didn't turn them into full fledged poems. I don't know where I got that idea. So, here you go...

They say misery loves company
Well don't expect my RSVP
I wash my hands of that negativity
Shake it off
Join me on the bright side for tea



Boom! 

You (New Poem)

You.

Whoever you are

Wherever you are

I want you

To have and to hold

To join the bold

Be my warmth when I’m cold

We can lay in the sun

Go for a run

Do anything

As long as we’re one

Sing with me

Dance with me

Be fancy free

Not musically inclined?

That’s ok babe I still want ya to be mine

My daily valentine

Fingers entwined

Tell me a story

Romantic or gory

And catch me as I fall

Let’s dabble

Let’s travel

Fly away with me

Let’s do it all

I can’t wait to do it all

With you.

♥