New Insomnia Low

It's 11:43am. I have not slept yet. I've shied away from taking sleep aids for fear of becoming addicted. It may be time to give in...to a non-addictive option of course. This is a ridiculous cycle. Wow...this is what my life has become thanks to stress. Actually, stress is a grave understatement. I suppose I should attempt to force myself to sleep now. *shakes fist at invisible insomnia supplier* I hope whoever's reading this has a way better start to their day than moi!

until next time...

Well, I thought wrong!

The Monday after Easter, I went out to celebrate my friend's birthday. Her closest girlfriends to took pics by a nearby lake, went to dinner, and joined many other friends for a night of bowling. That was my first time bowling in an actual bowling alley-crazy I know. I'm not too shabby. It was a very fun night. I was glad I wore a cute outfit that day and couldn't wait to see how the pics turned out.

Turns out, I never needed to see the pics. Only one pic has been posted but if that's any indication of what's to come, I don't need to see the rest. I look so fat! I was such a black sheep in the pic. I'm use to being the token black person in my group of friends but this time I was the token fat black girl in a group of beautiful white girls. I almost want to apologize to my friend for ruining her bday pic!

Here I am busting my butt doing Zumba, strength training, eating well, and staying hydrated and for what?!? I know results don't happen overnight but I'm tired of this. I want to feel AND look cute, not feel cute only to realize I looked a fat, hot mess. Well, I had a good cry about it. Nothing left to do but keep chugging along. Hopefully there will be a noticeable difference sooner rather than later.

Inspiration courtesy of Criminal Minds

When you think of inspiration, I highly doubt the crime drama Criminal Minds comes to mind. Surprisingly enough, it was just the inspiration and push I needed to better myself. Every episode features a quote relevat to it's plot. The quote from S6E16 really struck me: 

Tomorrow, you promise yourself, will be different, yet, tomorrow is too often a repetition of today. ~James T. Mccay

Hearing Reed say this quote was a necessary slap in my face! Tomorrow isn't promised to us. Mccay's quote made me realize that I have spent too much time promising myself that my tomorrow will be different, only to stay in a perpetual state of yesterday. I don't know about you but I don't want to continue wasting whatever time I have being unhappy. I don't want to reflect upon my life and see nothing but a slew of unfulfilled promises. 

So let's talk specifics; what has this quote inspired me to be diligent about?

-Losing weight

-Believing that I'm beautiful RIGHT NOW not when I lose the weight etc.

-Contacting those that can help me remove the blockade that's plagued my life for years and made my future seem bleak

-Being a better example of Christ's love to everyone I come in contact with

-The little things like spring cleaning

The important thing for me is to avoid getting overwhelmed. Multitasking is great until you get to the point where some things are thriving at the expense of others. I've begun working on all of these things and I'm more hopeful and excited about my future than I have been in years. Thank you Criminal Minds!

Poetic Bite #1

Often times I have poetic thoughts... baby poems if you will. I used to think they weren't worth sharing because I didn't turn them into full fledged poems. I don't know where I got that idea. So, here you go...

They say misery loves company
Well don't expect my RSVP
I wash my hands of that negativity
Shake it off
Join me on the bright side for tea



Boom! 

You (New Poem)

You.

Whoever you are

Wherever you are

I want you

To have and to hold

To join the bold

Be my warmth when I’m cold

We can lay in the sun

Go for a run

Do anything

As long as we’re one

Sing with me

Dance with me

Be fancy free

Not musically inclined?

That’s ok babe I still want ya to be mine

My daily valentine

Fingers entwined

Tell me a story

Romantic or gory

And catch me as I fall

Let’s dabble

Let’s travel

Fly away with me

Let’s do it all

I can’t wait to do it all

With you.

♥

And the Christmas countdown begins!

Christmas is upon us and I'm quite excited!  Can't you tell by my new layout? I'm looking forward to decorating, baking cookies, giving presents, getting presents, watching Christmas movies, singing & dancing along to Christmas music etc. One thing I am not looking forward to is some serious cleaning-but that's what has to be done when everyone's coming over to your place for Christmas this year! And of course the one question everyone has regarding this holiday is "what's on your Christmas list?" Well, I normally use this time to just be thankful that God gave his only begotten son to die on the cross for me, for the areas of my life where he has shown me grace, and for having friends and family at all that enjoy spending time with me and even care to buy me presents. It really is the thought that counts. But this year, I know exactly what I want:

-Nintendi wii console so I can play:
      -Just Dance 2
      -Karaoke Revolution: Glee
      -Michael Jackson: The Experience

Singing and dancing are my absolute favorite things so this is without a doubt what I want. The only thing I could want more than this is the Twilight Saga: Eclipse DVD but I won't have to wait for Christmas to get that because it comes out in only TWO DAYS-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! Oh, and I always want clothes lol.

Besides the merriment of the holiday season, I'm merry about the chance to give back. Today will be my first day volunteering for Kids Read Inc. at a local community center. I'll be helping a bunch of 3rd-5th grades who aren't on grade level re: reading, writing, and/or math. I love kids so much and career wise I'd really like to work with troubled youth in some capacity. This volunteering opportunity will be a great way to get more experience working with kids and it'll just be a great way to be helpful ya know. I hope I do a great job. I worked with elem.-high school kids at a homework club in college and let me tell ya, being 23 does not = being smarter than elementary school kids. They are teaching kids very different methods than the methods that were taught to my generation. these kids already aren't on grade level so I can't confuse them further by teaching them my methods lol! I'm sure it'll be fine though...I'm excited :0)

*raises my glass of apple cider*
Here's to cherishing what we have, appreciating what we gain, and not letting that gain include too many pounds ;0) Now go forth & enjoy the most wonderful time of the year <3

Ohhhhh Australia XD

So I should def be doing my Psych of Personality hw like a good insomniac, but I decided to catch up on my YouTube subscriptions instead; I'm just too comfy procrastinating lol. So while watching a vlog, I learned a few things about Australia that I found amusing & thought I'd share...

1) Got a hankering for kangaroo jerky?..well Aus is the place for you!
2) Bangs are called fringes
3) The toilets don't swirls when flushed, the water just gushes straight down. I'd say Aussies have a less exciting flushing experience lol
4) Last but not least, they have a ice cream bar called Golden Gaytime...

Ohhhhhh Australia, haha XD