You Are Not My Family...

I just finished watching a few episodes that I had missed of the show Private Practice. In the last episode that I watched, the character Addison said a few words to her father that I could truly identify with, & it made me want to write a few things about my own notion of family...

To those who have burned me:

You are not my family. I have a family. One that I did have a say in creating. I was fortunate enough to find them in college, some even in grade school. They know me, truly know me-my likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams and struggles. We are present in each other's lives, choosing not to acknowledge each other's existence only once in a blue moon or during the holidays. They have been there for me through the good and the bad, unlike those who choose to show up only after I've found success. If you don't bother to take a journey with someone, how can you expect to celebrate with them once they've reached their destination? My family loves me, unconditionally. They know my dirt and do not judge me. They want me to be happy. They have not abandoned me, called me names, gossiped about me,or made jokes/comments at the expense of my self-esteem. They don't expect anything from me. All they want is for me to be happy, and I want the same for them. One would think that would be the ultimate goal that family members had for each other, yet I have met many who are too selfish to follow that train of thought. I don't know how others do it...get past the walls that are immediately built once you're burned. You chose to burn me. As a sane person, I refuse to associate with anyone who consciously chooses to hurt me. How and why others choose to reconnect with those that have hurt them-I haven't the foggiest idea. I know what my idea of family is & it does not include you. You were removed from this beautiful union once you decided it was okay to hurt someone that you supposedly love. If that is your idea of love, I want no part of it. But your hurtful actions toward me were not in vain. They helped me realize what it feels like to find people who actually love me, just for being me. My family-you know who you are. I love you and thank you for loving me in return. To those who have burned me, it is truly your loss.

~A healed burn victim