Music is the best muse

Today I checked my YouTube subscriptions and found a treat waiting for me...the official music video for 'My Heart is Yours' by my favorite artist Justin Nozuka!!! It's the first single off of his soon to be released album 'You, I, wind, Land, and Sea' and naturally, I love it. There's a lot of music out there these days that shouldn't even be considered music due to its lack of substance, and abundance in ridiculous lyrics. Exhibit A: Ke$ha's 'Tik Tok'. See video below for a hilarious elaboration on the matter:


and back to our discussion of quality music...
Justin Nozuka's songs are what I like to call audible beauties, that have the power to evoke so much emotion within me. When I watched the official video for the aforementioned 'My Heart is Yours', I was inspired to write this poem. I had the itch to write a poem for awhile now but didn't know exactly what I wanted to write about so I'm glad Justin's song took care of that :) Below is the music video and the poem that the song inspired. Enjoy!


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Poem: Sweetly Singing 


Dancing along the shore
Making footprints in the sand
There's boundless energy
Coming from the sea
And the union of our hands


Staring in amazement
At the beauty of the sky
As you lay next to me
I'm happy as can be
Deep love rings true in our eyes


The sun is beating down
Bringing warmth upon our skin
It mingles with the breeze
Puts my mind at ease
May this moment never end


Because my heart is sweetly singing
And there's no better feeling...<3
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And as a bonus, here's Justin performing it live. It's not often that one finds an artist whose live performances are just as good, if not better than the radio edits. And this doesn't even begin to do his live performances justice so feel free to check out other videos of his live performances. Your ears will thank you ;-)

Headlines Reactions

The Ellen DeGeneres show time slot has now been moved from 2pm to 3pm, making it more likely that I will take a gander at NBC news at 4pm. Todays headlines had me saying everything from "really?" to "yaay!".

1) D.C. has legalized gay marriage: This may surprise some people who know about my love for Jesus but I am happy about it. I am all about unconditional love and there have been wonderful people in my life that are gay. I am happy that they have this victory. They deserve to be able to reap the benefits that come from legalized marriage, and legally celebrate their love for their partners <3

2) The Georgetown Cuddler: Apparently there's a man that's breaking into homes to cuddle with women....it's sad that a guy would have to go through such great lengths just to get a cuddle in! At the same time, I'm glad he's not doing something worse to the women! Mayhaps this is a sign that our society should be a little more affectionate towards our loved ones?

3) Possible Alcohol Tax Increase in MD: Maryland may increase the tax on alcohol by 10 cents to reduce alcohol abuse and fund treatment for alcohol related health problems. I highly doubt that this will reduce alcohol abuse but this is an area of society that college students will truly be able to contribute to lol.

4)Warm Wkend Weather: This is pretty much self explanatory. After the never ending snow storms and the fact that the snow STILL hasn't melted, this is much welcome news. Enjoy the outdoors this wkend!!!

Until next time...

"I am le tired"

It's only Saturday and I'm already spent. The good news is that I'm spent because Friday and earlier parts of today were wonderful.

First I hung out with Lyss. I haven't seen her in about a year and we were really good friends in college so it was nice to see her again. We caught up over lunch and went to see the movie Dear John. Despite all the hype about how sad that movie is, I did not shed one tear, and I can't figure out why anybody shed tears over it really. The fact that it was a Nicholas Sparks movie, it could've been a heck of a lot more sad. But I loved it. It was nice to have a movie with the semblance of a happy ending for once...I say "a semblance of" because the ending kinda leave you hanging so there's no certainty that everything actually ended happily. But hey, I'll take it. And Channing Tatum is my ideal man so of course I love that he was the leading man :-D Moving on...

It's always a good time when Ash has a party. Old friends, new friends, potatoes, infamous chili, ice cream, white zinfie, wii bowling, boxing & tennis, collectively reminiscing about SU days, coincidental purple outfits, picture taking, compliments on my latest hairdo...yup, a good time was had by all. Towards the end of the night a few ppl opted to go bowling but Robs opted out, and since I was sleeping over her place last night that meant I was opting out as well. I kinda wanted to go because I've never been bowling. I know, I know, it's shameful. There's a lot of things/places I haven't experienced that shocks ppl but all in due time I suppose.

The sleepover at Robs was fun and chill. It's nice to have those one on one moments with your good friends and just relax. The car ride home was fun too-ya can't go wrong singing Paramore songs at the top of your lungs lol.

But there was one kink in the festivities...my appearance. Here I was thinking that I looked cute-face on, hair curled, new clothing items. Sadly, the pictures I took with my friends at Ash's party did not reflect how I felt. Deep down I knew they wouldn't. I looked like a whale, a smurf like whale since I decided to wear a blue shirt! I try not to let my self-consciousness re: my body image shine through by detagging my Facebook photos but today I failed in that mission. I couldn't bare to keep myself tagged in such hideous photos. Even my hair wasn't up to par! I don't know what happened but my curls did not hold up like they usually do. I'll chalk it up to excessive wind and a hairspray fail. Seriously, I looked so bad. Sweet Robs tried to convince me otherwise but it didn't work. I haven't even been eating badly AND I've been drinking water...WATER! That emphasis is due to the fact that I hate water, but I'm forcing myself to drink it because I know it's the healthy and smart thing to do. Yet, my efforts aren't showing good results. It's great to be healthy on the inside blah blah blah but I want to be beautiful on the outside too dangit!! I guess I need to step up my work outs and really get a hold on my insomnia as well. I learned at the party that 3 of my friends are doing weight watchers but I just want my weight loss to be the result of a lifestyle change ya know, that way I can keep it off for good and not be subject to the numerous weight loss programs that are virtually impossible keep up with for the rest of one's life. I love my personality and thus I love myself half heartedly. I want to be able to look in the mirror, or look at pictures of myself and be happy and proud of the way I look. I just have to keep trying. Until next time...

Oh Happy Day :-)

Hello loves,

Those that know me best know that it doesn't take a lot to make me happy. I think that in the world we live in, that's a great quality to have! So what has me jumpin' for joy today you ask?

1) My mom is buying me a new laptop & it'll be here 6 days

2) My good friend Alyssa that I haven't seen in almost a year is coming to visit next week

3) My fave network television shows come on tonight: Bones, The Office, Private Practice, Chelsea Lately, Burn Notice, Important things with Demetri Martin, and Ace of Cakes. I realize that this outs me as a t.v. junkie and I'm o.k. with that-it's not my fault so many awesome shows exist!!!

#3 makes every Thurs awesome as I am one that's easily amused, but #1 and #2 put today in the 'awesome' category and put my mood in the 'happy-go-lucky'; and 'I'm so excited & I just can't hide it' categories. Imagine what I'll do when my laptop, and Alyssa actually arrive lol!

Oh & I just found out that Burger King has a cupcake shake. I'm a McDonald's girl and I've only been to BK once-as a child-and it was in New York, not Maryland. But I definitely want to try that shake!

Hope your Thursday has been a happy one :-) Until next time...

The Great Thaw; Shaun White; Loss; Lent.

So we're finally experiencing the great thaw of all the snow brought by the snowpocalypse, snowmageddon, or for you nontheatrical types-the blizzard of 2010. No more power outages, covered cars, cabin fever, or snow days. I would add no more plowing to that list but it has come to my attention that some crazy ppl decided not to dig their cars out of the snow and thus their cars are still in need of being plowed out. Not a smart move on their part...

The winter olympics are here!!! It does cut into my usual t.v. sched but but I love me some Shaun White, Louie Vito, Apolo Ohno, & J.R. Celski so I'll deal. My boys did an ah-mazing job-Shaun won his 2nd gold medal tonight!!! His coach said that if he won double gold, they'd get matching tattoos, wonder what they're going to get...and where??? It was great for me to have a reason to be pumped tonight, especially considering the phone call I had to make moments before...

Recently someone that claimed to be one of my best friends has been acting pretty shady. He's basically been ignoring my existence and that is very uncharacteristic of him, and of best friend behavior. But ya see, I'm a person that has been disappointed/treated wrongly by friends & family alike since childhood so as happy as I may seem w/ certain ppl, the possibility of them treating me wrong is never far from the front of my mind. And once again, it has come to fruition. Since he refuses to talk to me, I left him a voice mail ending the friendship. I have more than enough to deal with; I refuse to chase after someone who is showing that they don't care about me. I love myself to much to deal with that. On to the next!

Lent. Honestly, if it weren't for Facebook I wouldn't have even realized that it was starting. It's just not something I gre up participating in. And I love how it's the people who never lead a true Christian life any other time of year that are participating. It's supposed to be a period of self reflection and sacrifice because Jesus died for us but honey I sacrifice, self-reflect, and have quiet time with Jesus every freakin day. Forgive me for not believing that giving up Facebook or chocolate is going to intensify that. Instead of doing away with something for the Lenten season, I would rather do the opposite and add something to my life to show my appreciation and love for Jesus-something that would make him smile i.e. reaching out to those in need whether that means helping those in Haiti, or the homeless, or boys & girls clubs. Or, it could be as simple as making more of an effort to treat your body like the temple that it is instead of being counted as one of the obese masses of America. And what's even better is that spending 40 days doing these wonderful things will most likely make them routine in your life-how wonderful would it be to know that you are routinely doing things that would please Him. That is not to say that being in God's favor stems from doing good works-definitely not. It's equally important if not more so to cultivate a Godly state of mind & heart, and doing some good in this world should be a natural progression of those states.

Those are all my thought bubbles for now. Until next time...

American Idol-Misguided Talent Hopefuls

Tonight's episode featured a young lady whose voice was quite a hot mess. Then why would she audition, right? Two words: mom's vision. Yes her mother claimed that when she was pregnant with her little bundle of joy, the Lord gave her a vision of a little girl on her hip that was singing. But the question is, was the little girl singing well??? Because let me tell ya, the voice that came out of her daughter on tonight's episode was atrocious!!! The mother stated that she's been telling her daughter that she will be a singer one day, ever since she was old enough to comprehend what that meant. Shame on her! Parents, do not encourage, no, flat out LIE to your kids about their chances of making it in a certain industry-especially if those lies could lead them to making a complete fool of themselves on national t.v. Tsk, tsk, tsk. This just goes to show you the power of desire and delusion. The mother wanted her baby to be a singer so badly, that she ignored her sense of hearing. And her daughter was apparently lied to to the point that she herself believed she could sing...FALSE! Or mayhaps (yes, I like to combine maybe and perhaps), they are both honest to goodness tone deaf. I hope this public humiliation has made them see the light, shining on a big sign that say "save our ears, you can't sing". I don't mean to be mean but geez, are these people serious? Well, I suppose I should be thankful because it makes auditions that much more interesting. American Idol, keep the good, the bad, the crazies, and the deluded comin'!!!

2010? Yes Please.

2009 has been...

here's hopin' for better in 2010!!

Time to reflect.

2009 was sucktastic...

Family-more likely to gossip about me than reach out and help me or keep in touch with me at the very least. Nothing new here EXCEPT the new situation with my father... I met him when I was 6 yrs old. I am his oldest of 8 children (that I know of), but I'm pretty sure I am the only one he chooses to ignore the existence of. I stopped trying to figure out why that is, and feeling bad about it a long time ago. Oh, and let's not forget there are 4 moms between his kids, my mom being the only one smart enough not to carry another one of his children-yaay mom! Anywho, I can't remember the last time I spoke to him, but guess who texted me this Christmas...yup, dear old dad. The text expressed his simple desire to wish me a merry Christmas, and that he would talk to me later. I didn't know what to say bck so I did not respond. I guess this story is to be continued...

Friends-our chosen family. The fact that we choose our friends just adds insult to injury when my friendships go awry. And it's just my luck that the friends I lose, are the ones I love the most, and truly think will be around for all of my days. 2009 was no exception. The loss of one friend in particular really stung...well, still stings as much as I hate to admit it. For someone who refused to lose my friendship, they sure had a funny way of fighting for it-not talking to me in any way, shape, or form for 7 months. He's a douche, and yet I still wonder how he is at times. Curse my cares...

School-1 class left. Won't be taken until money is available to pay off backpay and future tuition. And I'll have you know that this is the school's fault but they're playing dumb. Ain't higher education grand?!

All of these categories have been my sources of stress for the past 3 yrs. The result has been insomnia and its worsening, emotional eating, loneliness due to a lack of faith in humanity's ability to be kind to me, and overall unhappiness and longing for more than this. I'm ready for something new, something good, happiness.

2009 has been

i deserve to smile

if only once in awhile

in 2010.

here's hopin'...